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How to Cook Crank with Uncle Festerrar: A Step-by-Step Guide

Cooking Crank With Uncle Festerrar: A Fun and Easy Tutorial

If you've ever wondered how to cook crank, or methamphetamine, with Uncle Festerrar, the infamous clandestine chemist and author of various books on the subject, then you're in luck. In this article, we'll show you how to make your own batch of crank using simple ingredients and equipment that you can find at home or in a hardware store.

Cooking Crank With Uncle Festerrar

Cooking crank with Uncle Festerrar is not only a fun and adventurous activity, but also a way to save money and avoid the dangers of buying from shady dealers. Plus, you'll get to enjoy the burning wood aromas and the unmistakable smoky flavor of food cooked slowly over the campfire.

What You'll Need

Before you start cooking crank with Uncle Festerrar, you'll need to gather some materials and tools. Here's what you'll need:

  • A cast-iron Dutch oven and a sturdy tripod. These are essential for cooking over the fire and keeping the pot at the right height. You can find them online or at camping stores.

  • A 36-inch chain with an S hook. This will allow you to adjust the height of the pot as needed.

  • A thermometer. You'll need this to monitor the temperature of the reaction and avoid overheating or undercooking your crank.

  • A glass jar with a lid. This will be used to store your finished product.

  • A coffee filter. This will help you filter out any impurities or solids from your crank.

  • A funnel. This will help you transfer your crank from the pot to the jar.

  • A scale. This will help you measure out the ingredients accurately.

  • A spatula. This will help you stir and scrape your crank from the pot.

  • Gloves, goggles, and a mask. These will protect you from any harmful fumes or spills that may occur during the cooking process.

What You'll Do

Now that you have everything ready, it's time to start cooking crank with Uncle Festerrar. Here are the steps to follow:

  • Set up your tripod over a fire pit or a grill and hang your Dutch oven from the chain. Make sure it's stable and balanced on all kinds of terrains.

  • Add 100 grams of pseudoephedrine (or ephedrine) to the pot. You can get this from cold or allergy medicines that contain it as an active ingredient. Make sure to check the label and avoid any products that contain other ingredients that may interfere with the reaction.

  • Add 150 milliliters of water to the pot and stir well.

  • Add 50 grams of red phosphorus to the pot. You can get this from matchbook covers or strike-anywhere matches. Be careful not to inhale or touch it directly as it can be toxic and flammable.

  • Add 150 milliliters of iodine solution to the pot. You can get this from antiseptic products or online sources. Be careful not to spill it as it can stain your skin and clothes.

  • Stir well and bring the mixture to a boil over medium-high heat. Use your thermometer to check the temperature and keep it between 95C and 105C.

  • Cook for about an hour, stirring occasionally, until the mixture turns dark red or brown and thickens.

  • Turn off the heat and let the mixture cool down slightly.

  • Filter the mixture through a coffee filter into a glass jar. Discard the solids left in the filter.

  • Add some acetone or ether to the jar and shake well. This will help separate the crank from any impurities or byproducts.

  • Pour off the top layer of liquid into another jar. This is your crude crank.



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